The nightmare of nightmares of the limerent person is that you become interested in someone else.” Wakin explains. A girl diagnosed limerent is reviewing past encounters with the object of her affection by trying to figure out the true meaning of the dialogue.
Whether you’ve planned a romantic dinner for two, or are scouring the shelves at Target for a last-minute gift, the girl of your dreams may actually turn into a nightmare.
We spoke to Albert Wakin, Professor of Psychology at Sacred Heart University in Fairfield, Connecticut and researcher of a type of distorted love called limerence. The addictive part of this is very powerful because it is an addiction to a person, not a substance, ”Wakin notes.
See how to identify this unhealthy form of obsession and how to get out before you come home to a boiled bunny. Limerence is defined as a combination of obsessive-compulsive disorder and addiction. The inability to control a person only feeds the obsession.
Wakin notes that individuals diagnosed as limerent think about the object of their love up to 98% of the time. “You never have to worry that the liquor is going to reject her, or the liquor is going to see other people.
It may seem initially flattering, but a limerent’s affection will never be satisfied, and will only increase over time.
“A limerent person can get off the phone with you, and 10 minutes later, feel the desire to speak again, if they can last even that long,” Wakin notes.
If you feel like you are in a limerent relationship, don’t bank on her snapping out of it. If you yell at her, threaten her, tell her to go away, that still gives her attention,“ Wakin says. If the person doesn’t stop or you find them hanging around your place of residence, call the police,“ Wakin recommends.
“In a healthy relationship, you encourage the other person to be good for you. Of course, you want to spend time with the object of your affection, but if someone is in love, you support their efforts, even if it means separation.
In a limerent relationship, you want the person for you and it feels smothering,” Wakin explains.
Other signs of unhealthy involvement include constant calling.
A limerent person is also essentially available 24/7 for you.