But, honestly, it wouldn’t have mattered anyway because I was already falling in love with him.
Had I known ahead of time, I might have hesitated to go on our first date, but now here I was, dating a guy more than a decade older than me, and I was hooked.
Now that we’re parents ourselves, he reminds me that we don’t have to entertain our kids all the time. Sometimes I feel like a four-year-old—”What’s that? ”—but I like having his knowledge at my fingertips. “If you had met me in my twenties, you probably wouldn’t have liked me,” Alex has told me. How much of an age difference would you be okay with?
“I was opinionated and had that youthful intensity: ‘This is right and that is wrong!
’ In your twenties, you’re usually trying on a bunch of identities.
Alex never saw Ghostbusters or Back to the Future because they came out when he was in college and he was “too cool.” Meanwhile, he can quote every line from The Odd Couple.
“Everyone in my generation saw every episode,” he told me. It’s the same as if I had never seen Seinfeld.” * Wise advice.
When I’m upset about something, Alex has enough life experience to know that “it’s always darkest before the dawn” and “this, too, shall pass”—and explain why that’s true for me. 8 things I’ve learned about marriage, and what marriage means.He knows from experience how to see the big picture, the long game, and helps me not get stuck in the moment. Alex grew up in the seventies, when free-range parenting was the norm. Alex has racked up tidbits through the years, so he pretty much always knows the answers to my questions, from current events to vocab words to political history. When Alex and I first met, I figured we were the same age. Then I did the Official Age Test, and we just passed. “I have to tell you something,” he said, swallowing hard. Later that night, I called my mom, who told me that age was just a number. We were strolling home from dinner in the West Village, full of burgers and rosy-cheeked from red wine, when he stopped short on the busy sidewalk. It was much older than I had guessed from his baby face, Converse sneakers and goofy demeanor. “I’m 41.” At the time, I was in my late twenties, and 41 seemed ancient.